They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
