It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
