you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
