dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
