so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
