I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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