I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
