Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
