Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
