At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
