so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
