you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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