Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
