Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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