Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
