There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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