you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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