Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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