Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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