She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
