he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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