My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
