We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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