goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
