Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
