And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
