where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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