I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
