drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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