Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
