I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
