I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
