Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
