I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
