Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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