Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
they need to just BURY HIM!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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