sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
