i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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