haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
