the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize