When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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