Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
