You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
