so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize