and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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