bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
