Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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