I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Do vagina's smell?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
