I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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