Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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