I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
