Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
