I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
