that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
