Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
