I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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