whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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