You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
