No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
