I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize