Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my being single is dangerous.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
