Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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