I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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