you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
