I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
